Posts Tagged ‘drunk’

Mom Of Thieving, Drug Abusing, DUI Prone Starlet Wins Mother Of The Year

May 10, 2008 Comments off

In What Universe, You Ask? And No, You Are Not In the Twilight Zone!

Dina Lohan

Dina Lohan, is the flesh flashing, George Clooney stalking, mother of former actress, Lindsay Lohan. Dina, allowed her daughter Lindsay to have hotel sleepovers with male stars, whilst in her mid-teens.

Dina sat idly by, as her now broke meal ticket became a drug addicted alcoholic before even coming of age. Not to mention, the many DUIs her daughter racked up before age 21, that caused innocent people physical and property damage.

Dina’s daughter Lindsay has further criminally stolen expensive clothing items in two unrelated cases.

Dina’s daughter Lindsay was photographed at age 19, intimately kissing 50-year-old designer and all around perv, Donna Karan, on the mouth, who is also a member of the Kabbalah cult.

Well, Dina has inexplicably been named Mother Of The Year in Long Island, New York. Yes, you read that right.

Now, I like Long Island. I have friends there, but I know not a one of them voted for Dina. So, just how did she get this award. Who did she sleep with or pay off?

Well, actually, the family is broke from the many lawsuits and accompanying legal fees associated with Dina and Lindsay’s misconduct in a number of things, so who did she sleep with?

Seriously, I’m sure there were more deserving moms in Long Island.

Lindsay Lohan in fur coat she stole

A bad mother is not one that tries hard to keep their kid on the straight and narrow, and then for whatever reason, the kid messes up anyway.

A bad mother is one that encourages irresponsible behavior and or sits back and lets it happen unchallenged.

Mother of the Year hiking her skirt up for the camera:


May 8, 2008 — MORE surprised than anyone that Dina Lohan was honored as a “top mom” this week was her ex-husband, Michael Lohan, who called the award from the Mingling Moms Organization “a joke.”

Michael fumed, “Are you kidding! Top celebrity mom? Look at her off-screen antics, her lack of morals and how she conducts herself. I guess they forgot to mention how this top super-mom leaves her kids alone at night and even parties in their presence. Just wait until we go back to court.

“She comes stumbling out of Butter at 3:15 a.m. with bloodshot eyes and a red runny nose, yelling ‘Oh, [bleep],’ when she saw the paparazzi,” Michael raged to Page Six.

Story found here

Lindsay Lohan Falls Off Wagon…And Into A Brewery

April 21, 2008 Comments off

Frequent rehab visitor Lindsay Lohan was spotted out in Hollywood getting drunk…again, but this time collapsing as well. Like I wrote last week regarding her, she still hangs around her worst influences. Therefore, I’m sure internet audiences, who know the history of the former star, are not surprised at the news.

Recovering addicts can’t go the same places they use to or hang out with people that are still leading a life of substance abuse. You’re bound to fall doing that and if you keep it up you’re going to overdose:

“Wild child Lindsay Lohan is back to her boozy ways, news reports claim.

Jobless actress LiLo, who went to rehab no less that three times last year, is raising eyebrows yet again with her hedonistic ways.

Several sources in the US claim that Lohan has fallen off the wagon in spectacular style – after she was spotted on Saturday drinking Grey Goose and Red Bull cocktails at a party deejayed by pal Samantha Ronson.

Lohan, 21, reportedly smoked cigarettes, chatted with friends and hit the dance floor at Hawaiian Tropic Zone in New York as her pal Ronson spun tunes until 4 a.m.

A source tells celebrity gossip website Access Hollywood: “She was seen hanging out with friends, smoking cigarettes, drinking Grey Goose [vodka] and Red Bull, and just supporting her friend, who’s the DJ.

… she allegedly collapsed in an alcohol-fuelled stupor at the New York nightclub.”

Story found here

Ron Weasley Slams Paris Hilton And Lindsay Lohan

April 16, 2008 Comments off

Turns Out Men Do Find DUIs, Drug Convictions, STDs And Crazy Chicks Troublesome

April 16. 2008

Ron Weasley: I didn’t know a woman could have that many STDs! What exactly is Parisitis!

Though I am not a fan of the Harry Potter series, one of its lead actors, Ron Weasley, accurately summed up Lindsay Lohan and Paris Hilton to a tee.

Paris “free clinic” Hilton

When asked why he won’t get a place in Los Angeles, like his co-star Daniel Radcliffe, who bought a second home away from London, in New York, he squarely blamed the vapidity that is Paris Hilton and Lindsay Lohan.

He hilariously said of former actress Lindsay Lohan:

“I met Lindsay last summer and she talked about herself a lot. She said she was going to win an Oscar before she turns 25. I just kept thinking, ‘But you can’t act’.”

Paris with one of the fugly shoes in her clothing line. I hope that’s the only one. It looks like she killed a lizard to get it done.

Regarding Paris Hilton he stated:

“I haven’t met Paris and don’t want to either. She and Lindsay are the type of girls you need to stay away from.”

Well said Weasley. Sites all over the world are laughing in agreement at your statements. Who knew they were bad for tourism. source

Story found here

Lindsay Living With Lover

April 15, 2008 Comments off

Lindsay Lohan and Samantha Ronson

Fornicator Lindsay Lohan has been living with her lover, but it’s not what you think. It’s another woman, Samantha Ronson. Oh dear.

The felon, Lohan, busted twice for DUI and cocaine possession, continues to hang around one of her worst influences. As some of you may remember, when Lohan was arrested last year for DUI and drugs, Ronson was in the car with her.

She was also photographed with Lindsay, while the former actress went out and got high and skunk drunk at various Los Angeles drug dens watering holes.

It is also being reported that Lindsay refuses to visit her grandma in the hospital, who is suffering with cancer.

You Kabbalah nutters don’t seem to care about cancer sufferers, as when you’re not ignoring them in their poor, infirmed state, you’re trying to fleece them out of their money, by telling them that government board cited, polluted Kabbalah water, sold to them at exorbitant prices, coupled with big financial donations to you, will cure them, which is unscientific and plain cruel (BBC documentary and other supporting international articles).

May God have mercy on you for fleecing cancer victims and prolonging their suffering, in turning them away from medical science in favor of quackery.

You’re the kind of cult, that say a cure to cancer was found, you’d steal the money the lab had to mass produce it, so you could keep selling that phony Kabbalah water.

Robert “Double Standard” Mueller, is a first rate hypocrite. Overcame prostate cancer, yet allows Madonna and that Kabbalah cult to fleece cancer victims from U.S. Shores, because the figurehead is famous.

It’s amazing that the FBI has clamped down on a few individuals that unethically sold fake cures, yet mysteriously has overlooked the unmitigated criminal fraud the Kabbalah Center and Madonna openly engage in from U.S. shores, regarding defrauding cancer patients and others struggling with disease, via fraudulent Kabbalah water.

Does someone need to scan Robert Mueller’s bank account, as he loves doing to innocent Americans he’s spied on, misusing the Patriot Act, for which he was condemned in Congress.

Clearly the phrase “Liberty and justice for all” is not in Robert Mueller’s vocabulary. Nice work protecting victims Mr. Mueller – not!

Lindsay Lohan’s pal Samantha Ronson has “practically moved in” with the troubled star at her Los Angeles pad in a bid to make sure she stays away from drugs.

“Sam still has her own place,” a source told the New York Post, “but she spends every night at Lindsay’s” to make sure she stays away from drink, drugs and trouble.

Story found here

Lohan Settles One Of Her Drunk Driving Lawsuits

February 27, 2008 Comments off
Speaking Of Rumheads…

February 26. 2008

Lindsay Takes A Dive

Alcohol vat, Lindsay Lohan, has settled a drunk driving lawsuit with a busboy that sued her for $200,000. The busboy alleged she was drunk after lunch at the Ivy in Los Angeles, then got behind the wheel and smashed into his vehicle. He even presented her receipt with a lot of liquor on the tab as evidence.

Considering she has been busted for drunk driving with not only a blood alcohol level over the legal limit each time, but drugs on her person as well, there’s pretty much a pattern of her doing this.

Lindsay says she is now sober. In unrelated news, here is footage from a couple days ago of Lindsay leaving a club drunk, falling over on her way to her vehicle, and a man having to pick her up off the ground. Classy! (not).

You know, you going out to these Hollywood clubs known for drugs and alcohol is not helping. It’s like a reformed crack user hanging out at the crackhouse. It just won’t work.

Story found here

Paris Hilton’s Brother Barron Arrested For DUI

February 12, 2008 Comments off
Because The Family That Drinks Together…Gets DUIs Together

February 12. 2008

Barron Hilton (right) Paris Hilton (left)…no wait, Barron Hilton (left) Paris Hilton (right)…Paris is looking a little androgynous there.

Paris Hilton’s 18-year-old brother Barron was arrested for a hit and run DUI, where his blood alcohol level was almost two times the legal limit (.14).

He hit a gas station attendant in Malibu and kept going. To make matters worse, he is under twenty-one and not supposed to be drinking and was also caught with a fake ID.

Last year, Paris Hilton was charged, arrested and incarcerated for DUI and repeatedly driving without a valid license.

Boy, that’s a family of winners. Actually, that’s a family of wieners.

Barron Hilton’s mug shot

There’s something wrong in that family, producing this severe level of dysfunction. Well, to be fair, having Paris Hilton for a sister would drive anyone to drinking. Just kidding.

Seriously, that family needs help before it completely self-destructs. Paris (daughter) doing pornographic videos and DUIs, Barron (brother) under age drunk driving and hitting a civilian who’s on foot, Nicky (sister) looking like she is literally dying from anorexia nervosa and Kathy (mother) going clubbing with her adult daughters, whilst wearing a see through blouse. Something’s not right there.

Story found here

Lindsay Lohan Does Hard Time…84 Minutes

November 16, 2007 Comments off

November 16. 2007

ex-con Lindsay Lohan

Due to overcrowding in L.A. county jails, Lindsay “The Black Kid Did It” Lohan was released early after serving 84 minutes of a one day jail sentence for cocaine possession (twice), drunk driving (twice) and damaging public property (once, but not before running over “the black kid’s” foot).

Even her waste of celluloid movies last longer than that. Regardless, Lindsay has been easing back into her old routine, which could spell a repeat visit if she is not careful.

It’s rare that one finds this kind of sophistication and grace:

Paris “The Felon” Hilton is another one slipping back into her old routine. A few months ago after she was released from jail (LOL), she told Larry King that she had changed, but just this week she was spotted out partying…on a stripper pole…looking wasted…surrounded by men.

And to think people pay models to walk down runways while an undiscovered STD socialite like Paris is hanging around:

 Story found here


Jack Bauer Is Going To Jail

October 10, 2007 Comments off

No, The Terrorists Haven’t Won…The D.A. Did

You Think He’ll Try To Break Out?

October 9. 2007

Jack Bauer is going into a cell…and no, not a terrorist cell. A real cell. The kind they put Paris Hilton in (just thought I’d give Paris a nice flashback).

Actor Reefer Kiefer Sutherland, star of the hit TV show “24” has been sentenced to more than 24…days in jail on his fourth DUI. 30 days to be exact. Is he going for 24 DUIs?

Wonder if he’ll have a countdown clock in his cell like the one that runs on the show. I hate that clock, because you know it’s gonna run out before they wrap up the plot of that episode.

Not to tease him personally, though, as Kiefer is a good actor. Here’s hoping he kicks his addiction. Maybe they need to hang a sign under the Hollywood sign that states: GET A DRIVER!

 Story found here

Britney Drinks Margarita In Car

September 29, 2007 Comments off

Singer Bartender Allie Hands Britney Her Drink

September 28. 2007

According to web site Celeb Slam, Britney was drinking in her car, which is illegal. Britney, you’re an inspiration to winos everywhere.

Boy, this girl has no concept of what the impact of her paparazzi addiction can breed – and it is she who is indulging in and provoking it.

It already produced photo and video exhibits that manifested itself in criminal charges for her last week and prior to that, enough evidence to build a case illustrating she is out of control and an unfit mother:

“Britney Spears was spotted leaving a recording studio in Burbank last night. As she sat down in the passenger seat of her white Mercedes, her assistant/cousin/enabler Alli handed her a margarita (note the salt around the rim of the glass) in front of about 50 paparazzi. You’d think after the judge last week ordered Britney to undergo weekly random drug and alcohol testing that she . . . oh I don’t know . . . MIGHT STOP DRINKING.” Celeb Slam

Story found here

Britney Dropped By Lawyer, Manager, Publicist And The Château Marmont

September 20, 2007 Comments off

Bodyguard Throws Britney Under The Bus…And Judge Brands Her A Druggie

September 19. 2007

Continuing the mainstream pop culture theme this week actually every week of Being Britney Spears Stinks, she’s been dropped by…everybody. Her lawyer, manager, publicist and underwear have left her due to Britney’s insane conduct.

Britney was outed this week as a druggie and alcoholic by Commissioner Gordon, who is presiding over the case. She kept lying all year stating she didn’t do drugs, humiliating her mother as some liar that put her in rehab for kicks and now the truth has come out.

Her mother put her in rehab because Britney has a problem and she was trying to help her. Gordon ordered that Spears be tested twice a week for drugs and alcohol. He ordered her to get mental counseling as well.

She needs a full battery of psych tests, as the Kabbalah cult she has gotten involved with has destroyed her mind. That’s why she can’t function anymore. There are many drug abusers and alcoholics in Hollywood, but they don’t behave insane like Britney…only the ones in that cult do.

Spears’ former manager The Firm: “It saddens us to confirm media reports that we have terminated our professional relationship with Britney Spears. We believe Britney is enormously talented, and has made a terrific record. But current circumstances have prevented us from properly doing our job. We wish Britney the best.”

What he really meant: OK, she’s lost the plot and we tried upping her meds, but it didn’t work. Britney thought it was a chaser. Yesterday, she even called me and said, “Jeff, I want you to do my weave this week. Make me look like Angelina” and I just lost it and screamed, “I am not a magician, Britney.” And that’s when I quit.

Unbelievable Unbeweavable:

Attorney Gloria Allred’s secret witness in the Britney Spears case was the pop tart’s former bodyguard, who pretty much put the nail in the coffin, testifying about Britney’s drug use, alcohol abuse and constant nudity in front of the kids:

Tony Baretto testified of Britney’s plan to have K-Fed bumped off with a beretta.

Gloria Allred: “Our client was prepared to testify on issues of nudity by Ms Spears, drug use and safety issues involving the children. Today we came to court with a key and secret witness in the Britney Spears/Kevin Federline custody battle. Our client’s name is Tony Barretto. He was employed as a bodyguard for Ms. Spears from the time she came out of rehab until May 17th.”

What she really meant: Britney’s booty is in a sling. We have a witness that saw her fly “over the cuckoo’s nest” and make a roundtrip.

Gloria Allred: “During that time he was in her home on a full time basis, drove Ms. Spears to various appointments and observed her behavior inside of her home, outside of her home and around her children. He became very concerned about the children and their safety. Though he was reluctant to come forward and become embroiled in her custody dispute he decided to do so because of his concern about the safety and well being of the children. He is a father of young children himself.”

What she really meant: she’s beaming up in front of the kids so often that the cartels sent her a rewards card with coupons.

BBC: According to Ms Allred, he lost his job because “he didn’t hear her when she asked him to pick up her hat”.

What they really meant: It was one of the voices in her head that told him to pick up the hat, it just didn’t voice the request, but we can’t print that.

K-Fed: no she didn’t just try to kill a brother. I’m calling the NAACP. Al Sharpton is gonna hear about this.

According to the Daily Mail, “In a further twist to the bitter tug-of-love, Barretto also gave evidence about a planned “hit” on Britney’s ex-husband Kevin Federline. FBI and LAPD are investigating reports about a suspected plot to carry out “a contract hit” on Federline.”

What they really meant: he married a crazy person and with the sheer level of corruption in the FBI, white celebrities are not brought to justice (click here), and since K-Fed is technically black, Robert Mueller will launch a cover up.

The Daily Australia: “Most recently, the new queen of drama was asked to leave a top hotel after she allegedly smeared five-star food all over her face.”

What they really meant: as the phrase goes, she is one taco short of a combination platter.

Chateau Marmont restaurant:

Britney’s lawyer that dropped her Laura Wasser: Look, I don’t need the wrinkles. I’m trying to stay fly in my shades and this asylum escapee is stressing me out:

Joey Fatone

Joey Fatone formerly of the boyband NSYNC: “It looked like she was really lost. A lot of people really want her to seek help. There’s something not right there, something needs to obviously be done before anything tragic happens. She’s a great girl. I’ve known her for many years.”

What he really meant: Britney got the crazy.

Producer Timbaland to MTV regarding Britney: “She has no comeback story. That’s the problem. She has to have a team. She needs to come back with Justin doing records; [then we'd see headlines like,] ‘She went back to her ex and she’s making smashes.’ [But instead she got] so big-headed and [was] like, ‘Scr*w you, scr*w you, I don’t need nobody. She should humble herself and make a phone call and say, ‘I’m sorry.’ She knows what she’s sorry about,” Tim said. “She needs to say, ‘I was wrong,’ and it’ll definitely move forward. … That’s all she has to say.”

What he really meant: what is this woman smoking that she is calling a brother back cussing me out when I’m trying to help her with her country self:

Justin Timberlake: I love you big black man. Who needs Britney.

Story found here


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